2am/11 Feb
The man who loves you nv makes you cry. The man who does?.. doesnt know how to love you.
Enthusiasm nv choose time, does it? Caring about others feelings does, and especially not when you are sleepy.
i choose the wrong time to be enthu abt the special day, he simply nv thought how i would have felt by the reaction.
Is he only the one tired? i guess so... and it seems so... i was nv tired enough to don care... and he is nv awake enough to care how i felt by those reactions...
how can you love someone but be so neglectful abt the feelings of your love ones? i cant... unless i choose to be...
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yea was disappointed abt the talk on sky flyer... thats why i throw myself into planning that special day so i could forget how disappointed i am with his practical reply on the sky flyer( but i know he is right, practical though... but correct tat we are on budget.. so i tried not to be too sad abt it...though he didnt say it in a nicer way... i tried to understand)..... worked at first... but didnt work out in the end anyway...
was also abit sad that i had to give up half of the day for his FYP, but i know its the right thing to do... so there isnt anything to be really sad abt... so i tried to plan the earlier part of the day a better one so that he can have a happier day to work with even if he had to go home to do his report after tat......guess wasnt gd enough to keep his enthu level up enough to humor my enthusiasm...
special days was suppose to be planned tgt... to be happy abt... to be enthu tgt abt... but it wasnt so for us... i juz think that what if one day this relationship came to a boring straight line..where everything is so practical.. uncaring.. nth to be look forward for.. and wat will happen? it had nth to do with budget... special days are special becoz it comes from the heart..done according to our heart-felt feeling for each other... planned specially for each other.. becoz we made it so... it has nth to do with budget... nth to do with being too tired to tok abt... or giving a decent reply...
maybe for you... there are always things that are too tired for you to be done nicely when you are tired.. especially with me... too tired to reply... too tired to reply decently... too tired to reply what you felt from the heart... may i ask... wld you ever be too tired to go to work? wld you be too tired to go to sch? would u ever be too tired to not finish stuff given by ur boss? .. y muz this excuse always falls on me?
if you go to work everyday and comes back to always tell me you are too tired to give me a decent reply... am i suppose to live with it?
to you, it not an excuse. its a reasonable explaination... but its not resonable if it always only used on me, and on me only. would you rather i work myself as tired as you do and always tells you im too tired to react evrytime you tires to tell me smth... im tired after work too.. not only you...
im suppose to take care of ur every needs while you neglect mine? to understand u have to do project, to understand ur mum or auntie wans for me going over to eat instead, to undertsand we have to work with budget(all these i can understand), but to undertsand u r tired and cannot reply me properly when im planning stuff for us so that we can make gd use of the time tat we have to be tgt?... What abt me? im not human? i don need assurance? hiax
can i always do things or say things without thinking and if it hurts you , can i juz tell u a reason of mine and you will keep forgetting the hurt u get, and understand that i will simply be that hurtful uncaring way as long as i have reason of why i do it?? is it acceptable?