im kinda confused with my life now... becoz i feel that im no where... as though everything i do or ard me have been visiting? brushing pass me?.. its like... touch and go feeling... hiax... shuttle run...?
my sch seems empty to me.. everyday i go to sch.. i go my fyp... i go home... no friends to hang out... no nth... its juz duty... my relationship?... ever since he is in army i felt empty... every weekend that he bk out i am elated... every time i send him back in i felt really sad... when he gets weekend duties? gone.... its lik he is visiting me every weekend.. its kinda torturous for both of us.. hiax.. but what i can be sure is that no matter how hard... i wld wait..... And how abt work.. i don really know...i simply juz work... enjoy when i can.. if not... i juz go thru my duties as normal and go home... hiax..
there is always a start and an end to things.. when good things start for me, shld i worry then it would end sooner or later and fret abt bad things happening?....i really dunno... logically it is waste of time becoz i wun noe when it comes an goes.... but once u tried being truely happy and contented, but the next minute u get thrown off lik rubbish... its very unlikely you can forget that feeling...
other than having so little time to be with him... im truely content and happy with this relationship now.... and am abit afraid... hiax... but i know i shldnt.. i shld juz enjoy and let it be... but once in a while..those bad thoughts juz wldnt go away...how can i make it go away?
from a thrifty gal.. i guess im turning into shopaholic.... im wanting alot of things nowadays.. an am trying to rein in my shopping desires so that i wouldnt spend the money away that ive worked so hard for.... but for my to-buy list till the end of next yr......
1) new book shelf( my old one is collapsing!)
2) small flat screen tv for my soon to be new room...
3) tv table
4) bean bag..( bought but have not collected yet )well for the endless to-buy list would be...
1) clothes
2) accessories
3) shoes